with a thankful heart...

I'm sitting here writing to you this morning with a heart so very full and so very thankful for all that I have been given by my Heavenly Father and the wonderful individuals He has placed in my life, including all of you.  I don't think I have ever been this nervous writing a blog post before though...my hands are shaking, my heart about to burst.

My sweet husband and I have been married for 13 years.  He is truly the best thing in the world to ever happen to me.  I am forever thankful for this gentle man who I have the privilege of loving and who loves me back.  We have experienced so much together....lots of good, so much happiness, many tender mercies, etc.  He's been there for me as we've experienced many heartbreaks together.  These things have made us so strong and looking back on these experiences, I am thankful for them because each has brought us closer to one another.  

Just a little over 9 years ago, the most beautiful, perfect, tiny angel was placed in our arms.  She is one of the miracles we have experienced together as she was brought into our lives through the amazing process of adoption.  Oh, how we love her....she is the light of our life!  We thank our Heavenly Father and her Birth Mother every day.  

I am excited and terrified to share with you all that we are embarking down the pathway of adoption again.  I feel this pull and tug at my heart to try again....that there is a little being out there who needs a home, and our hearts have so much more love to give.  A year ago, my husband and I had the opportunity to try IVF.  I was 100% certain it would work and just knew it was an answer to our prayers.   My arms miss the little 4 month old that would be here with me today.  It was devastating.  I must admit that this, without a doubt, has been the most difficult thing I have ever experienced in my life.  It has taken me a long time to overcome and I am still doing my best, but I'm certain there are others out there who can attest to the fact that this is something you never get over.  There are days I feel like a part of me was broken in this process....like a bird with a broken wing.  But, this experience has also taught me so much about myself, the depth of love my Heavenly Father has for me, and the experience has made me even more grateful for my dear husband and little girl.  I'm so thankful I have them.  I don't regret our IVF attempt...not for a minute.  It may be hard for some to understand....why go through all of that without a guarantee, to spend the money and have nothing in return, but my feeling is that I will try whatever I possibly can to bring a little life here to earth.  No regrets.  I know the tears and heartbreak will all be worth it someday, if not in this life, then in the next.  We all have trials and this is mine.  Sometimes I really stink about how I handle it...so sorry about that, but other times I am given a glimpse into eternity and understand completely.

So, as I share my heart and soul with you today, I simply ask for your thoughts and prayers as we begin the process of adoption.  I believe in miracles.  Some of you I have never met.  Some speak a different language and live in countries far away.  But, we all speak the language of love, so I know you will understand.  I love you dear friends and family.  

Melissa

 

P.S.  These sweet little cards were made for Emma's Paperie.  

 

P.P.S.  I love you Mom!   You are my angel mother and I thank you for being so patient with me.  For always knowing exactly what to say to me at the right time and for letting me cry on your shoulder whenever I need you.  I don't know how I got so lucky as to have you as mine.

Comments

[Tonya Dirk]

Hugs to you Melissa. That sweet little one that is out there just waiting to be part of your family is one of the luckiest little babies!!!!

[Jade]

I'm so excited for this incredible journey you are embarking on. I know you will have trials but I truly deeply believe that your ending will be a happy ever after. I wish you and your family the very best and I hope that your arms and life are very soon overflowing with love and happiness.

[kelly]

how brave you are to share all of this. i pray every day for the miracle of another little person to enter the circle of love that is my little family as well though for reasons completely not understandable to me we have had many doors close to us. i am so thankful with, and for, you that a door will open (hopefully soon) to you. my thoughts are with you.

[Lani]

My two fabulous children (both adopted) are the best part of my life. Sometimes I can't imagine my life before they were in it because it seems they've always been a part of me. Just know your child will find you and you'll be there. Cheers!

[Karen Letchworth]

Melissa: I am more than happy to pray for you about this matter of adoption, and in fact, I just prayed for God's perfect will to be done.
By the way, I don't know if you ever saw my email about the truffles, but I found the recipe on the internet.
God is in control...always. Just keep counting your blessings.
Karen

[cristalfab]

Melissa: You and your family will be in my prayers. While we don't know each other, you are a daily creative inspiration to me. When I am looking for an idea, I ask myself WWMD? The Lord has a path for you. You will find it! cristal

[Deborah]

Wow, Melissa that was a heartfelt message. You obviously have a strong faith and with the love of all the people around you , you will face all challenges together and with strong support. Life sometimes never turns out as you envisaged but it shapes who we are. Thinking of you, from Deborah x (just off to a fireworks dimply as bonfire night here in England today).
I don't usually comment but I look out for you everyday. I love what you do- so talented.x

[Elaine Allen]

Melis -

Be strong sweet girl. There is a perfect little someone out there who will fit into your lives like the proverbial glove. Have faith, God is watching over you.

Elaine Allen

[Rebekah F]

Beautiful, brave and heartfelt post! I wish you and your family all the best and luck as you embark on a new journey in life.. how exciting!

[Marci]

Melissa, thank you for sharing something so personal. I have had my share of heartaches (5 miscarriages). I may not know exactly what you've been through but I have definitely walked down a similar path. I pray that your process will go smoothly and end in the best possible way. The love you share about your daughter shows that you deserve to share that love with another precious child. Sending nothing but positive thoughts your way!

[Theresa from Virginia]

My prayers, thoughts, and hugs to out to you Melissa! I know you will find that perfect addition to your loving family one way or another. God really does answer prayers and I see miracles all around me - looking forward to hearing about your new miracle very soon!

[Melissa Ladd]

Oh, Melissa! Although we have never met, I feel as if I know you from reading your blog, seeing your videos and interacting with you on the forum. You seem to be the sweetest, most thoughtful woman, and a most amazing mother! I will pray that God may bless you with another member to your beautiful family! Sending you a huge virtual hug!

[Jill Norwood]

Melissa your post brought tears to my eyes at all you have been through and I pray that a new little angel enters your family very soon. You are such a loving mother and wife and it is reflected in all of the beauty on your blog and the recipes and scrap book pages you share of your dear ones.

I too have a Mother who always knows the right thing to say and is a shoulder to lean on at times of great sorrow and stress. We are all so very blessed by our families! Big HUGS!

[Dana Kirby]

What a touching and inspirational post today. You brought tears to my eyes, at all you and your husband have been through. I will be praying for you and your family during the adoption process. I know at times it can be difficult but I pray that God will bring a new member to your beautiful family. What a gift. Take Care and God Bless.

[Mel H]

Good luck to you and hope all goes well for you and your family.

[Maureen Chandler]

All the very best to you and your husband as you add to your lovely family. I will be thinking of you and know that some little soul out there would be lucky to be placed in your arms.

[Kelly Schirmer]

I have goosebumps from head to toe, Melissa! I know that was hard to write, but I am so very happy that you began the adoption process again! You are such a dear sweet mother and deserve to have the chance to share your love with another child...he/she will be so lucky! I just know that your wish will come true. I think you are so right that there is a little one out there waiting just for all of YOU! I think it's your true calling. You will be in my thoughts and prayers :)!!

[Nancy]

Congratulations on your decision to pursue a second adoption!! I can feel your excitement jumping off the page as you write. I remember the feeling well. We adopted 2 older children from Russia back in 2000 and 2001. I pray your process is smooth and you are soon matched with the child who is destined to be yours!
Hugs,
Nancy

[Astrid]

You are so brave to share this with us all and to go on this journey again. Somewhere out there there will be a very lucky soul who is waiting to become part of your special family and find a big sister and a loving home. My prayers and good thoughts are winging their way to you over the oceans. BIG HUGS!!!

[jan m]

Melissa, I am so very sorry for your loss. While I have not walked in your shoes I did lose an angel at 7 months. He was the culmination of our hopes and dreams of 13 years. Yes I still think of him today, 26 years later. Yet, I am excited you are opening your arms to another child who needs your love! YOU are the angel! My prayers are with you, Fondly

[Patty O'Malley]

Oh Melis, I understand completely how you feel. I am so happy that you are pursuing another adoption and will be praying for you and your family. As you know, my family was made through adoption yet I don't really think of my son as adopted. He is the child I longed for and was given through the grace of God. As the saying goes, he may not have grown under my heart but grew in it. I'm so excited for you!

[Alessandra]

Oh Melissa, what a beautiful and heartfelt post. I have tears in my eyes of happiness and sadness. I know how devastating IVF is, and how painful and difficult it is. But I am so happy for your second adoption, I know for sure that there is a little being out there just waiting for you. I believe in miracles, always have, and you will get your second miracle for sure. There is nobody out there that deserves more than you do. You are such a beautiful person inside and out with so much love and generosity to give. Sierra and the future little one are so lucky to have you and your husband as their parents, and you to have them as well. I will be praying for you and your family. May God bless your heart today and always. Xoxo, Ale

[CrafterKate]

Have prayed for you.

You are such a kind and inspiring person!

Wishing you all the best and much happiness.

[Kolleen moss]

So glad to hear your good news about adoption! May our Lord bless you and your family, always! Prayers for you.

[Linda]

God bless you and your family and my prayers are with you all!